Shannon ONeill 9/22/22 Shannon ONeill 9/22/22

Grief Bombs

Almost two years since Daryl’s death and nine months since my mom died, I’m wondering how to have a new relationship with and to them?

Shannon ONeill 9/15/22 Shannon ONeill 9/15/22

Grieve, Procrastinate, Repeat

The great thing about procrastination is, like grief, it’s invisible and really, the only person whose life it’s harming is your own.

Shannon ONeill 9/5/22 Shannon ONeill 9/5/22

When Loss is a Gain

It’s twisted, ironic even, to lose a person and gain money

Shannon ONeill 9/1/22 Shannon ONeill 9/1/22

When Grief Feels like Sci-Fi

Landing on Planet Grief

Shannon ONeill 8/24/22 Shannon ONeill 8/24/22

A Few Tips for Surviving The Death Experience

I needed a break from grief, real, performative and instructive, and putting my toe into the death space seemed like a meaningful detour.

Shannon ONeill 8/9/22 Shannon ONeill 8/9/22

A little darkness

And now, because an extremely terrible most unlucky thing happened to me that elephant will always be in the room. I’m okay with the elephant, I’d gladly talk about the elephant all day and all night (its name is Daryl). But I know it’s hard for other people, and I think it’s because there is an even bigger elephant in the room which is that we are all going to die one day, and how do you talk about that without feeling like a real mood killer?

Shannon ONeill 7/22/22 Shannon ONeill 7/22/22

Motherless Daughter

She has felt so close to me the last couple of weeks, as the moon moved to fullness and the photos of galaxies from we have never seen before were revealed by the James Webb Space Telescope. Some of the photos looked like distant party lights to me, beckoning us to dream, to go further, to wonder at what might be out there.

Shannon ONeill 7/13/22 Shannon ONeill 7/13/22

Grief as Writer’s Block

I stumbled on a quote recently about how projects you were working on when your loved one was alive may no longer seem relevant or worthwhile to you, and those projects take on a whole lot of baggage after they are gone. I wish the project in my case was a bathroom remodel instead of a novel.

Shannon ONeill 6/26/22 Shannon ONeill 6/26/22

Summer Animals

We have had rabbits in our backyard off and on the last couple of years. They live under the deck, squeeze through a gap in the rotting wood and the flimsy wire fencing. Not “ours” exactly, since it is a rental. Not “ours” at all since it is just me. Sometimes, when I slip and say “ours,” I pretend I mean me and the dog, but in my heart, I know I mean me and Daryl. “Ours,” “We,” “Us,” are very hard words to let go of when they no longer serve a purpose.

Shannon ONeill 5/9/22 Shannon ONeill 5/9/22

Grief, Identity and Me

The thing about grief is that it’s not always about grief.

Shannon ONeill 2/23/22 Shannon ONeill 2/23/22

Grief and the Four Burners Theory

I think of all the hours I wasted worrying about that stuff and how I could have let it go and just enjoyed my time with Daryl and let go of the anxiety.

Shannon ONeill 2/9/22 Shannon ONeill 2/9/22

Mom dreams

Last night I dreamt about my mom for the first time since she died earlier this year.